Everyday Musings > The diehard romantic

As I write this, the radio is playing 'Holle Holle Ho Jaayega Pyaar', 'Guzaarish' and 'Tu hi to meri dost hai'. All romantic songs that make me stop, smile, turn dreamy eyed for a while, sigh and get back to work.

There's something so charming about romantic films that they make you want to relive them. My friend Mo watched Jab We Met 8 times. I've seen DDLJ 4 times. Jodha Akbar made couples step out smiling and cuddling a wee bit more to each other. Re-runs of romantic comedies on movie channels always make one stop surfing and sit back.

Romance is all about the slo-mo moments. But in our new rushed life, with fast food, instant coffee and daily soaps we've forgotten what it feels like to enjoy things at a leisurely pace. Love is instant. Passion is too. But romance needs time to blossom. At least the hopeless 'pride and prejudice and mills and boons' romantic in me continues to believe that. Just to check if I was caught in a time warp, I asked a few friends what romance means to them.

Mira and Kavs said, sorry too busy for romance. Kal said 'December. Mountain in the jungles, light snow, Victorian bungalow with a high ceiling drawing room, a big fireplace, a cosy mattress, some wine, you and your partner.' Kosh says it's Instant, torrid, fatal. Bil says a 'feeling of timeless togetherness with no worldly distractions.'

SD says romance is an old couple walking down the road holding hands; says it's the last scene in Notting Hill where Julia Roberts and Hugh Grant are on a park bench, she's pregnant, lying down with her head on his lap reading a book. And he's reading a newspaper. SD says it's being with each other without trying very hard to be with each other.

Sue says 'romance is when you feel one with earth. When leaves look greener, the wind feels cooler, and the moonlight looks magical. It's not necessarily something which happens when a man is around.' Shek says it's a feeling of completely knowing that you are attracted, loved and longed for by your partner as much you do for them'.

Anj tried hard to keep it short but admits she's too much of a romantic. Her list had 'Secret gazes in a crowded room. Butterflies in the stomach – even after years. Holding hands at very given opportunity. Dancing. Cooking together. Laughter. My head on his shoulder at a theatre. His head on my lap, fast asleep. A walk on the beach while it's raining. Silly pranks that only he and I get. Fighting. And making up. Then fighting again. And never wanting to give up.'

P says 'eyes lighting up when I see someone/someone sees me. The desire to smoothen things out for someone. The instant impulse to share everything, good, bad, ugly, with a specific person. Sitting on the kitchen counter while he cooks'. Runa says 'romance' is a very personal bubble which we create - it could be on the way to buy bread for example, but if you are with the right person - even if the person is not THE lover, he/she becomes a co-rider inside the bubble. And if there is chemistry and humour - woah explosion.'

Andy says Destiny. Mans says 'The person needs to be doing something that does not make him happy doing it -being delighted over setting a candle light dinner-or buying perfumes and other expensive accessory which invariably makes him happy too. I want him to think harder of what really makes me happy- which is such a difficult thing for guys to do. I love it when romance is the other word for thoughtfulness- something that can make me shed a tear - something that wants me to give him a hug whenever I think of it. What comes to my mind would be simple examples like keeping the house done is it's meant to be. Help save a life - go off non-veg as long as you can and do it for me. Say it with flowers. Be proud of me all the time, every time. Listen to me and most importantly, be patient with me'.

Emi says 'a night at home, candlelight, easy tunes, a bottle of wine, dinner and dancing and hot sex. Guru says 'quietly sipping tea together with your soul-mate while sitting in a balcony watching the sun rise through the morning mist'.

Kit says 'romance is play. It's a game between 2 minds - the more cryptic it is, the more interesting it becomes. Allure, ignore, surprise, share, tease, tempt.'

All of us have our own versions; some of thoughtfulness, some of living in a bubble, some equating it with passion, some finding it in ambience, some in company, some in words, some in thoughts. But something Kit said made me realise what we often miss out about romance – that 'the idea is to keep it going forever'.