Everyday Musings > What defines you?

Merriam-Webster defines Definition as ‘the art of determining, as a statement that expresses the essential nature of something’.

What came first, the definition or the word? Most likely the definition. Diplomacy is not really about word play as it is a play of definitions. Border, Third World, Middle East, Anti-Semitism, Fair Trade, Global Warming, Freedom. It is definition that builds our world - outside of us, and inside too.

Our minds create definitions by experience, knowledge, instinct and interaction. For some, Rain might be defined as ‘drowning’, to others ‘nostalgia’ and for someone ‘romance’. Definitions are said to be the key to unlock meaning. So then, what defines a human?

MW defines a Human as ‘having human form or attributes, susceptible to or representative of the sympathies and frailties of human nature.’

What a boring inaccurate definition! I am sure none of us would like to be defined so. We’d call ourselves adventurous, elegant, tall, pretty, educated, ex Harvard, crazy, intelligent, gay, straight, well-endowed, rich, Indian, Greek, but we’d never define ourselves like that!

I watched ‘Confessions of a shopaholic.’ A fun film, especially if you can’t stop owning things. A girl is convinced that a green scarf defines her, till she had to give it away. When left without possessions, she realises that the green scarf was gone, and she was still who she was.

We define ourselves by what we do, what we did, where we studied, what we own, who we are friends with, what we think, what we hate, what we love, what we will be. We define ourselves to be the most interesting that we can be. Mostly, it makes us rise. And at times, fall prey to our own definition.

Dictionaries evolve over the ages. Our minds sometimes don’t. Definition then becomes a crutch. ‘If not this, then I’m nothing’. A student who commits suicide when he can’t get through medical college or a girl who runs up credit card bills to keep buying designer clothes.

Those around us also define us with statements or words. If they’re positive, it creates an aura, and if repeated by others, it defines us in public. A celebrity known for a certain gesture could end up repeating it consciously because it defines him/her. Or a person known to be always controversial could find it difficult to gain attention by being plain about an issue. Most of us might not even be aware of the things we’ve defined for ourselves or what we have been defined by.

PR managers recognise the power of definition and work at creating positive or controversial definitions for their clients. Most life coaches recommend role play or imaginary definitions to boost confidence.

At one stage 500 words was my defining point - ‘the girl who writes 500 words’. And it gave meaning to my life. When I took a break, it probably moved to ‘the girl who used to write 500’, and today it’s probably ‘the girl who started writing 500 again’. But as long as I remember that these are all definitions and will keep changing as I do, I think I’ll be fine.

Just because we can define something doesn’t always mean we can understand it. And though the world will live by its definitions, the important things - love, faith, life, death – ironically remain indefinable.