Everyday Musings > What's in a name?

My mother's brother, my maama, named me Kavita. I've no idea why. Maybe he liked the name. Maybe he thought I looked like 'Kavita' when he first saw me, or maybe it was just a random thought. All my life I've met so many Kavitas and rued the fact that I had such a common name. I would have loved something more interesting like Zara or Tamara. But when people walk up to me and say that my name is so apt since I love poetry and verse, I wonder. Was it just coincidence that I was named so? Or is that the design of a name?

Naming ceremonies are big in India. The pandit studies the baby's horoscope and decides which letter would best for him/her. The parents, or grandparents or relatives pitch in and suggest names, one of which is finally whispered into the baby's ears. There, that's your name.

I remember reading a Miss Marple story in which two old ladies talk of their domestic help and how the girl's name was beyond her standing in society. Instead of Gladys or Martha, the girl was named Elizabeth, a decidedly upper class name.

Sometimes we see people who are so like their names that we relate to them instantly. And then some who are so unlike their names that you wonder what the parents were thinking. As we grow up, we unconsciously or consciously realise that names are important. Some of us shorten a really long name since we don't like formality or complexity; some on the other hand hate short forms or pet names and insist on using their full name, no matter how long.

Some of my friends are having babies right now. Thus discussion on names is on. If the theory of names affecting destinies is true, then the role they play as parents is so much larger.

Different parents have different reasons to name their children. My brother was named after a Shyam Benegal film, Nishant. In Kerala several communists name their children Marx and Stalin. Movie buffs names their children Rajesh Khanna and Madhuri. Bengali names are sometimes based on sounds like Kuhu, Rimjhim. Some celebrities have whimsical names for their kids - Apple (gywneth paltrow), Rumer (demi moore), Moon Unit (frank zappa), I P Freely (David Carridine), Tiger (Jackie Shroff), Kursi and MISA (Laloo).

There are some names that become taboo because the one who had it became infamous – like Adolf, Judas, Pol Pot, Osama, Saddam perhaps. This December, a Dutch couple was refused a birthday cake message wishing their 3 year old son Adolf Hitler a happy birthday. The store said they felt it was wrong for a kid to have Hitler's name.

People form pictures with just names. And through the years, the context of what makes a desirable name also changes. Ravi Kapoor turns cooler with Jeetendra in the era of big names, whereas Vijay turns cool with a casual Bobby Deol as does Curtis Jackson with 50 cent or Marshall Mathers as eminem. Reema Lamba turned sexy with Mallika Sherwat whereas an exotic sounding Mehajabeen turns to Meena Kumari to act in films.

Each era seems to have its trends. The more rooted we were, the more philosophical our names were perhaps; the more rootless we turn, the more rooted our names are as today we see a return of long names, of traditional names, of very Indian names.

Do our names really shape our destiny and character? Or is it simply that we try and live up to or rebel against our names? What's in a name, said Shakespeare. Maybe the destinies of Romeo and Juliet were bound in their names. Maybe if they were called Brad and Angelina, they would have lived happily ever after.

Everyday Musings > To buy or not to buy

The bag I'm carrying today says 'When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping'. Absolutely true for me. If I feel happy, I shop, If I feel sad, I shop. If I feel neither of the two, I still shop.

I've rarely walked out of a mall empty-handed. It's almost an obligation I feel to the owners, that now that I've dropped by, I should pick something, anything. Price is never important. A thing worth 5 bucks gives me as much joy as something worth 5000. And I'm a sucker for good packaging. A lovely bottle with a great label makes me suddenly want to eat Olives and great typography makes me save butter stained bakery bags (Bombay Bakery) with care.

I am a shopaholic. How to tell if you are? Try this. Is your closet overflowing with never-worn clothing or shoes with the price tags still on? Do you buy new makeup weekly or compact discs by the in double digits or things you couldn't resist you've bought and used just once and they lie unused?

According to an article on msn by bankrate.com, famous shopaholics include Marie Antoinette, Mary Todd Lincoln, William Randolph Hearst, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Imelda Marcos and Princess Diana. Their addictions ranged from clothing (Jackie O, Diana) to art and antiques (Hearst) to shoes (the heralded Marcos collection) to gloves (Mrs. Lincoln owned 84 pairs of them). All of these women have confessed overspending for the 'feel-good' factor during depression and emotional crises.

They added that female compulsive shoppers buy clothes, shoes, jewelry, makeup and compact discs. And men buy clothing, shoes, electronics (TVs, stereos, computers, etc.), hardware and CDs.

Things I shop for the most – bags, shoes, and stationary. Bags I have a special weakness for. I collect them, from anywhere, a local store, a mall, street side, anywhere, as long as they look interesting and unique. Most of my friends bring me bags when they travel, and others get me paper, books, pens etc.

My brother tells me I spend too much money. I do. But I can't seem to stop. Till I made that vow to not take plastic bags that is. The last time I went to the mall and bought veggies, I insisted that they put it all in my cloth bag. Stepped out, went to another store, saw some nice knick-knacks for my home, picked them up, then realized I had no more cloth bags, and I put it all back, telling myself the impossible – I will buy them when I have a cloth bag! And I haven't – some of the things have lost their charm since.

The other day I walked into this store and saw a gorgeous Grey chiffon dress. Thought of buying a size smaller and saving it for when I lose the inches I want to, but stepped out making a vow that I'd buy a new closet when I do lose the inches, but will not hoard for the future.

There are less bags in my hands when I get home now. And though I miss my mad shopping trips, this feels good too. Especially since my bank balance is not showing close to broke as it usually does at the end of the month.

Maybe in a few years I'll enjoy saving money so much that I'll have a new tussle on my hands. How do I get myself to spend?