Everyday Musings > Ram Ke Bhoot?

Early Saturday morning, an American Expresso in hand, I snuggled into the corner couch at this tiny little Barista in Oshiwara, when my friend Sha mentioned that she was teaching her son 'Ram Ke Bhooth?' (God or Devil). And Pat and Jen nodded their heads. I was quite lost. What is that? They said it was something they learnt when they were young. If you dropped some food on the floor and if you wanted to throw it away (since food is revered), you look at it, say Bhoot (Devil) and throw it away. If you want to eat it, say Ram (God), and eat it. Chocolates and sweets being the ones that these girls said Ram to all the time.

I found the concept intriguing. Not just as childhood trivia but because it was so much like how we live our daily lives, except that we don't have a juicy enough term for it. I found that Ram Ke Bhoot explained our relationship, as human beings, with desire, temptation and guilt. It was the birth of justification.

We thrive on justifications. They've grown old on the tip of our tongue and bare their fangs whenever we're faced with questions - But, I thought, Because, if not for etc etc. We are masters at it, and find a reason to or not to, be, do, experience or not experience things in our lives.

There's an unending list of what we can justify. We've justified how good we are, why we had to be bad, justified not taking care of our body, not making it to the gym, not making time for family or friends, not finding joy in small things, justified not having enough money or opportunity, not falling in love, falling in love, not voting, not standing up to injustice, killing people in the name of religion, poverty and hunger, not taking care of our planet, not being aware of every breath we take. Ram Ke Bhoot. God or Devil. We play it so well. Inventing justifications that make us win our tiny insignificant games again and again.

My mother called me this morning and said she wanted me to meet someone, a nice mallu boy. I froze at the thought of an arranged match. And gulped and said I'll think about it. I could invent as many Rams for arranged marriage as I could Bhoots. What I chose to say or do was entirely up to me. If I said Ram, I could smile and meet up and check this person out, if I said Bhoot, I could ditch the concept of arranged marriage and trash it.

There's no guilt in Ram Ke Bhoot – the justification makes us righteous, like we have the upper hand. Because being guilty and feeling guilty is not the same thing. But all it is, is a game. And the only ones we're fooling perhaps, are ourselves. We scramble for reasons to hold onto. Because if we didn't have them, it would mean we have to be responsible for the choices we make.

Eve probably knew this. She took responsibility for biting into the apple. And gracefully accepted the curse of shame and mortality. Maybe if she'd played Ram ke Bhoot, the world would still be the Garden of Eden and ironically, maybe there would be no righteous concept of sin.

Everyday Musings > A wish

A friend of mine has a strange New Year tradition. No matter where he is, he goes jogging on 1st morning. It's been the butt of many jokes, but that's his thing. I like cleaning up my cupboard, but that's almost every week, so don't know if it counts as a New Year tradition. I checked up on what people do around the world, and there were pretty funny things around.

Like in Spain, at midnight, Spainards eat 12 grapes, and try and finish the whole bunch by the time the clock stops chiming. In Philippines, they surround themselves with everything round – eat round fruits, wear polka dots – since round reminds them of coins and prosperity. In South America, residents of Sao Paulo and La Paz bring in the New Year wearing brightly coloured underpants – red is for those looking for love, yellow is for those wishing for money and so on. In Belarus, unmarried girls compete at games to determine who's going to get married that year. In USA, it's a tradition to drop a ball, some places a sausage, or a star, or a fish, essentially dropping things to celebrate New Year.

Along with traditions, there are superstitions too. That what they do on New Year's eve is what happens all year through. So many wear new clothes, or the colour red to signify prosperity, babies born on the 1st are considered lucky, crying is considered unlucky, many keep the doors of the house open so that the old year can escape, many kiss at midnight to renew their love, many dance in the open, around a tree to bring prosperity, drain the dregs of their bottle to bring good fortune, some even avoid washing dishes and laundry because they believe it will lead to a death in the family, some don't even wash their hair for that reason. Many stay away from using foul language and behave themselves, many countries don't let anything precious leave the house, not even garbage, to keep luck inside. Many pay all their debts before New Year day, some makes noises to scare off the evil, church bells are rung at midnight for this reason I believe.

Superstitions and traditions there are many, but what seems common is what we all wish for – love and good fortune. No matter who we are, which part of the globe we live in. And why is that so difficult to find or keep I wonder. If market logic were to be applied, if demand is high and supply is low, it becomes rare and the prices rise, and it goes to the one who can make the most effort to get it. Maybe that's why a lot of us keep praying for it. And bet our chances on a lottery. But not everyone wins.

A society that invents superstitions to bring in love and good fortune is probably one that is reeling in the absence of it or is fearful of losing what it has. And that indeed is something to think about. Let's make a resolution, to up the supply this year and spread a lot of love and share our good fortune with those around us. So that next year, even if we wish for diamonds and gadgets and things that we fancy, we won't be wishing for the essential of life - love.

Everyday Musings > Happy New Year

What's so special about a new year? A fresh change, like the washing of the train after a long journey. New beginnings are always celebrated, blessings seeked, pujas performed, wishes shared. There's a lightness of the heart that says this year I'm going to achieve what I want to. Well, I've had a very lazy day, sleeping for the most part, and then cleaning up my cupboard for the rest. So today, I'm going to get a whole load of other folks to talk and muse about what they think of the New Year.

Mark Twain says "New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions."

Brooks Atkinson says "Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go."

Bill Vaughan says "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to."

P. J. O'Rourke says "The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to."

Jay Leno says "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means, you have met your New Year's resolution."

James Agate says "New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."

Eric Zorn says "Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle."

Bill Vaughan says "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."

Charles Lamb says "New Year's Day is every man's birthday."

Oprah Winfrey says "Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right."

Mark Twain once again, says, "New Year's Day… now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

Judith Crist says "Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that."

Anonymous (love this chap) says "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits."

Joey Adams says "May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!"

Anais Nin says "I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me."

Oscar Wilde says "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

Robert Paul says "I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser."

Anonymous (yet again) says "A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other."

Leonard Bernstein says "From New Year's on the outlook brightens; good humor lost in a mood of failure returns. I resolve to stop complaining."

G. K. Chesterton says "The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Unless a man starts on the strange assumption that he has never existed before, it is quite certain that he will never exist afterwards. Unless a man be born again, he shall by no means enter into the Kingdom of Heaven."

Happy New Year folks.

Everyday Musings > The end of days

Today is 31st December. The last day of the year. And everyone’s geared up to celebrate it, to see it bid goodbye to us. TV channels are doing the countdown and making lists of the top events, songs, films, personalities, news, gossip, trends, hairstyles, fashion, dialogues etc etc of 2008. All of us are probably recounting all that we have achieved and all that we yet have to.

What is it about the end of days that makes all of us behave so differently from any other day?

The last day of School - rushing around, writing on everyone uniforms, filling up slam books with 'friends forever' and 'dated till Pisa stops leaning', hugging friends, making up with enemies, professing your love to someone you didn’t all year. College was much the same – hugging, smiling, crying, taking down email ids, promising to keep in touch, having many many final goodbye parties. Then there is the last day at work, where you sit back and remember the good times, the colleagues who came and went away, the ones who stayed, how great it’s been, the last words said by everyone that touches you, the notes you leave for people, the gifts you receive. And then of course, the big one - the last day of life. The time when all your loved ones gather, shed tears, hold your hand and your life flashes by and you tally your balance sheet, for the last time.

The last day is when we square up things, make it all even, say goodbyes, open up our heart, share emotions, truly live. On the very last day. I think it was Confucius who said ‘Live every day like it were your last'. The penny drops. It makes sense. If we lived every day like it was our last, we’d be living the life we always wanted to live.

I watched Dasvidania (similar concept to The Bucket List) a few weeks ago - the protagonist is told that he has three months to live. He first cries and is depressed, then realizes that he could now use that time to make his wishes come true. So he does that. Makes a list. Of the things he wants from life. And goes out and gets them.

I wonder what if each of us gave ourselves a mythical last day, like 31st December is – a created last day in a created calendar that’s a created truth. Not the absolute truth because the Earth doesn’t depend on a calendar to turn.

So let’s say the last day we all give ourselves is three years from now. What if we sat down and made a life list, of things we want to fill our lives with and aim to do them all before we mythically kick the bucket? How would our lives be? What would we want to fill it up with? And when the created last day comes, we could rejoice that we have more days, and create another last day, and keep living, till one day, we meet the real last day. But by then, there’d be nothing to regret or be afraid of, because the flashbacks would be full of beginnings. As the poem goes, 'the first for which the last was made'. An end of days which truly celebrates beginnings.

Everyday Musings > The Handmade World

The New Year's party at work was different this year. Everyone was asked to bring or make something that would be auctioned to raise money to do something meaningful for the city. I made a couple of sketches and others made things too. But due to insufficient things collected, the auction changed to collectibles from clients and their products.

I thought handmade was a wonderful idea though. To make something to build something else. The world has a rich heritage of using hands and craft. But maybe we've fallen prey to the instant culture. Tie and dye, kantha, hakoba, chikankari, smocking, crochet, our homes were a tribute to the handmade and an everyday part of our lives. Today though, we've turned handmade into something exclusive, expensive and hard to reach.

Also, Handmade is raw and unfinished. Machine made is faultless. Much like our new found concept of beauty and grooming, of being impeccable. The enjoyment of the flawed perhaps lies buried under this strain of consistent perfection.

Wabi Sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and death. It's simple, slow, and uncluttered-and it reveres authenticity above all. Wabi-sabi is flea markets, not warehouse stores; aged wood, not laminates; rice paper, and not glass. It celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind. For the Japanese, it's the difference between kirei-merely "pretty"-and omoshiroi, the interestingness that kicks something into the realm of beautiful/fascinating.

But there are those who're bringing it back to mainstream life. FabIndia has a poster in its stores that says not all garments will be alike, and any flaws in the weave is intrinsic and makes it more beautiful. I love Labourandwait.com– a UK based store that sells things made the old fashioned way, with time and care – things meant to age with you – things meant to be passed on. Buyhandmade.org promotes it as a way of life and Etsy.com is an exclusive ecommerce venture for handmade creations, and it's a joy to see the things people create.

With play-doh and do it yourself kits, parents are attempting to encourage their children to use their hands. But the kits are mostly put together kits, not sources of creation, of imperfection – they are designed so everyone will have the same outcome – the same picture on the cover – the balsa wood dinosaur will be the same for everyone, as will the DIY car. Unlike paper boats and paper planes and clay pots, where each turns individual and is related to the creator.

I wonder what would happen if we stopped right now and decided to turn back to becoming a handmade world, where each of us learnt a craft of the hand. There'd be less pollution, less clutter, less machines – more joy, more creativity, more life in our life.

Here's how to make a Snow Globe at home. Get a glass jar, any kind, with a lid. Get glitter to make snow. Small plastic toy/figurine (Santa/fairies/animals/trees) you'd like to place inside. Silicone or sealant to seal the lid. And Mineral oil or water to fill the jar. First, stick the toy to the lid with a waterproof sealant. It might need to dry overnight. Now, fill a deep bowl with water. Gently fill your jar - making sure to keep the sequins/glitter at the bottom. Now, gently submerge the jar - lid up - into the bowl. Then, put the lid under the water and make sure there are no air bubbles trapped under it. Twist it onto the jar. Remove jar with lid attached and turn jar upside down. Dry jar and lid completely. Be careful to not wiggle the lid, as this will cause water to squirt out. Take your tube of sealant and squeeze a good amount around the lip of the lid as you turn it around so that there are no air pockets. Again, it'll probably need to dry over night. Be careful to not wiggle the lid because this will cause pressure on the water and will cause it to weaken the sealant and create a leak. When the sealant is dry, your handmade Snow Globe is ready. As is your first step into the handmade world.