Everyday Musings > The 'Halo' Effect

A friend lent me her copy of Politically correct bedtime stories once. It was hilarious thanks to the many hyphenated carefully constructed sentences like "Sleeping Persun of Better-Than-Average Attractiveness" awakens from her "deep meditative state" (or sleeping beauty awakens from her sleep).

I've never been much in favour of political correct anythings, simply because I always felt it's the intent that makes a word foul, not the word itself. You could say visually challenged and make it seem worse than saying blind.

Those are words which change and the meaning stays the same. But there are some words that I wish people would re look at the meaning of – like charity. What is charity? What does it mean? Donation? Help? Aid? Pity?

Interestingly, Merriam Webster's definition states that the etymology (origin) of charity is thus - Middle English charite, from Anglo-French charité, from Late Latin caritat-, caritas Christian love, from Latin, dearness, from carus dear; akin to Old Irish carae friend, Sanskrit kāma love.

Love, dearness, dear, friend...words none of us have ever associated with charity. Charity, for most of us, in common parlance, has meant, I am more fortunate, so I will give to the needy. Nothing wrong with that, except that the intention stems from pity and not love. It makes us disassociate ourselves from them as the unfortunate others and not see them as part of us.

I remember a friend telling me about her maid, and how she refused to take some old clothes from her saying she buys new clothes for daughter. My friend said 'how thankless my maid is! I'll never try and give her anything now!'

Why do we give? To make ourselves feel good, in all sincerity so that we may do our duty and do our bit or because if we don't we might go to hell or not attain nirvana?

Visited an orphanage this Sunday with a friend, who had kept aside money he intended to spend on his birthday party, to give to charity. There were around 30 children in the home, the oldest being seven or so, loved by the sisters who took care of them, like any children I've known in my family. While driving back, my friend and I spoke of how we could help. But coming back home I realised that unless and until, we didn't see those children as being our own, we could never do anything for them, and the little-somethings we did out of 'charity' would only lead to a 'halo' effect, a feel good thing.

Charity, in its most sensible unadulterated form, means 'love for humanity'. When was the last time we operated from love rather than from pity when we did an act of charity? What if we made charity also mean responsibility? How would it be then? How would we look at our community? Would it change the choices we make? The one more t-shirt or pair of shoes that we don't really need, or the spare time that we spend doing nothing much could be used to spread love and joy.

We must re look at our intentions in serving and helping those around us, and in understanding those intentions, we will understand what humanity and love mean to us. What we make Charity mean will determine our actions.

Until then, the 'charitable us' will continue to wash our hands off saying 'I have done by bit, now it's someone else's turn'. We're all saviours playing passing the parcel.